Ranked in order of hilarity. To (or “intending to”) serving the best sarcasm in a serial, try to place and use it in the fitting context.
Monica: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re going to love it!
Ross: You know how you come home at the end of the day and throw your jacket on a chair?
Ross: Well, instead of a jacket, it’s a pile of garbage. And instead of a chair, it’s a bunch of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it’s the end of time and garbage is all that has survived.
Joey: Sure I peed on her. And if I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!
Phoebe: He must decide. He must decide. Even though I made him up, he must decide!
Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don’t let you do it.
Joey: Well, I’m sorry if I’m not a middle-aged black woman. And I’m also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition.
Joey: Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens…is that why they’re extinct?”
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are PEOPLE.
Joey: Hey, I’m not judging!
Joanna: Wait, what are you doing?
Chandler: Getting dressed.
Chandler: Well, when I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me.
Phoebe: Yeah, I don’t like the name Ross
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when I’m down.
Joey: It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.
Ross: You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful.
Joey: You’ve been BAMBOOZLED!
Joey: We don’t know how long we’re going to be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, look, I’m melting butter.
Monica: That’s great, Rach. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.
Chandler: I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realized? ‘Joker’ is ‘poker’ with a ‘J.’ Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that’s ‘joincidence’ with a ‘C.’
Joey: Suppose we’re a divorced couple.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now, suppose the child dies, and I have to buy a new kid.
Joey: Could I BE wearing any more clothes?
Joey: JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD.
Rachel: Hey, just so you know: it’s NOT that common, it DOESN’T “happen to every guy,” and it is a problem!
Chandler: I KNEW it!